Sunday 21 June 2020

Believe, Achieve, And Think About It With Gratitude!

Are you perhaps feeling that now's the time to improve your health and your life? Good habits are often crucial to achieving good results and a positive outcome.

You may be looking to lose weight, become fitter, more successful, are motivated to do well at work or feel it's time to extend your circle of friends; all require sustained effort to continue beyond the first few enthusiastic days.

Let good habits support good results

- The first thing to appreciate about good habits is that they must have a real resonance for you. If you're not especially bothered about being slimmer, fitter or more successful, then that lack of enthusiasm won't sustain you through cold dark evenings or on the tough days when your will power starts to waver. Having friends or family who are pushing you to 'improve' only increases your stress levels, resentment and maybe even feelings of low self-esteem. Pick good habits that feel right for you.

- Small steps are a positive way to move towards your bigger goals. Stepping-stones can help to prevent you from feeling overwhelmed at having to tackle everything all at once. Recognise each milestone you achieve; give yourself credit for enrolling in that class, not eating that cake, declining that alcoholic drink. Each decision takes you nearer to those good results.

- Stay focused, but also appreciate that sometimes other options may appear which can add value to your life. Don't allow yourself to become too distracted from your agreed good habits but equally be ready for great opportunities that may come along. Ring-fence the time, money or mental energy you expend on distractions. Allow yourself to make the most of them and enjoy what they bring to your life, but don't let them take you away from the big picture and your ultimate goal.

- Being accountable to others can be a great motivator. Having to check in regularly and report on your progress ensures that you keep your eye on each stage of the journey. Knowing that you've a regular date in the diary can quickly push temptations out of your mind.

- Joining a group and working together on shared goals can provide a good support network. Exchanging tips, advice and motivational stories can give a real boost on those tired, unenthusiastic days. And if we know our attendance is important to the group's survival it can inspire us to continue going. Being a group member, even when it's online, can encourage us to stick with our good habits. The downside though is that if one or two members lose their enthusiasm it can demotivate the rest.

- Sometimes paying upfront to join a club or gym pushes people to go regularly, whilst others lose interest and go only a couple of times even after paying out all that money. For me, I've committed to a weekly delivery of locally grown organic vegetables. It's inspired me to eat at least one item from the box every day and it's good to cook from scratch, eat fresh organic meals, shop local and sometimes try new things that I've never cooked before. Having it arrive every week means there's no excuse to slack off from eating this healthy veg, and it's a habit I'm pleased to maintain.

- Be aware of your vulnerable areas and put steps in place to mitigate them. So, for example, if you know that you find reasons to justify stopping at the petrol station, off licence or supermarket every day, where you then 'accidentally' buy chocolates, wine, cigarettes or scratch cards, intercept those times and don't go. Instead, shop online or make a list and shop once a week. Don't put yourself in temptation's way.

- Using the services of a professional coach or therapist may be worth considering if you feel there are specific issues which are holding you back and which need to be addressed. Regular sessions could help you move on, introduce a positive mindset, manage stress and determine to treat yourself better.

Be gentle with yourself. It can take 2-6 months for a new habit to become your automatic default. If you experience slip ups, bad days and 'can't be bothered's be kind to yourself and let them go. Remind yourself of all the good reasons you have to persist and start again, knowing that by sticking with your good habits you'll ultimately support good results and outcomes.

Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.



Sure, life is about as good or great as our attitudes and positive persistence genuinely make it. That is one point I agree with William Clement Stone and a few others on "who have it". Honestly though, success can never be taken for granted, and it can never be taken for granted that failure is permanent in my reality and probably universal reality.

Sure, it is possible to "achieve" using force, fraud and "pure dumb luck" at times. This warning is in order though, and it is a simple warning: "Napoleon had his Waterloo, and lost his Star Sapphire charm." Understand? Conscious and honest success that is earned is the best success to have in my opinion and in the best of reality in reality in the opinion of those that are genuinely conscientious and conscious.

The attitude beyond all luck and "providence" is the one thing we genuinely have control of within ourselves whatever the outer conditions. So, we can train ourselves to look for opportunities everywhere that genuinely work for us or hope luck works out "at least". In fact, these words just came to me in a flash "opportunity management is what life comes down to when successful". Failures really do depend on the luck at the beginning of things when successful by chance, and then cannot repeat it with skill when called upon to.

To really win fully, we must develop fully in attitude, skill and understanding tolerance or really, really lose. So, I repeat for emphasis: "Napoleon had his Waterloo, and lost his Star Sapphire charm." Consider that a command for, "Do not depend on 'pure' luck, it will disappoint every time. So will depending on forces "outside of yourself" to genuinely win. After all, winning comes from developing skill and persevering, not lucky chances, charms and tricks a dog can try to do.

So, to end this article on a great note: I can honestly say that I am always striving to have the great and receptive attitude that works to make my life ultimately a winner. I did not say that I was perfect at it. I said that I work at it all the time, listening and realistically receptive, learning all the time why to deal with it with the how and the rest of it. I am grateful for it all, right down to my "check up from the neck up" realities that serve to give me understanding. Thank God I am that rational.

My name is Joshua Clayton, I am a freelance writer based in Inglewood, California. I also write under a few pen-names and aliases, but Joshua Clayton is my real name, and I write by that for the most part now. I am a philosophical writer and objective thinker and honest action taker. I also work at a senior center in Gardena, California as my day job, among other things, but primarily I am a writer.



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